Disclosure: This post is made possible with support from the American Academy of Pediatrics through a cooperative agreement with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. All opinions are my own.

It’s amazing to think that we’ve been in a pandemic for a year now. And it’s safe to say that we’ve all learned a ton about ourselves and are working on the best way to continue growing relationships with kids as well.

There’s no doubt that the pandemic has opened kids’ eyes and showed them how to be more supportive and how we can help each other. This has been a trying year for us all, but especially those children that are dealing with Adverse Childhood Experiences

But the good news? Even though kids are going through thoughts and emotions that are unchartered territory for them, they can use that focus to understand their strengths, continue to use their voice, and build relationships with trusted adults.

Growing Relationships with Kids During an Unprecedented Time

In my previous post, we discussed how we can help children with Adverse Childhood Experiences. Children have to go through a lot in life during a normal year, so when you toss in a pandemic, it’s safe to say that everything can feel up in the air.

People are struggling with the loss of jobs, divorce, and so much more, and on top of that, school closures and a lack of social life for children can all feel as though it’s really just too much to bear.

As a child from divorced parents, there were many circumstances in my life where I had no control of my thoughts or feelings. It was a sad time.

When I became a parent, I made every effort to teach my daughter to recognize and express her emotions in healthy ways. Making sure she could express and manage her feelings the right way while respecting the feelings of others, and controlling her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors was important to me. It was peace of mind.

These are skills that children can begin learning at any age.

Moreover, I’ve made sure my child has trusted adults in her life. These adults provide nurturing relationships. My daughter knows that she has people she can turn to.

The main thing to think about during this time is that we’ve all learned a lot about how to continue to be there and help out all kids.

We can use what we’ve seen work during the pandemic—support from safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments (SSNREs)—and use that knowledge to build community and make sure no child is left behind to navigate adverse situations alone.

What Are ACEs?

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are potentially traumatic events that can happen in a child’s life that causes stress. All children will react differently to these types of events based on the support (or lack of support) from adults around them.

ACEs include:

• Mental illness
• Neglect
• Living with someone with a mental illness
• Substance abuse
• Emotional abuse
• Physical abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Parents divorcing

Trauma is a common growing concern for children as it can have them reacting or thinking negatively towards their own lives.

Children who deal with ACEs are at a higher risk for:

• Depression
• Chronic disease
• Teen Pregnancy
• Addiction issues

How to Prevent ACEs in Children

The best way to combat ACEs in children is to be proactive now. It’s so important to take the time and build strong relationships with your children so that they know that they can trust you and depend on you for help, health, and comfort. It also goes beyond our relationships with our kids. Children need multiple trusted adults they can turn to.

Pay close attention to your child’s signals. Are they scared, upset, or stressed? Help, teach and soothe them to calm them down when they are feeling upset.

What are you doing to create a safe, stable, and nurturing environment? Having a daily routine and nurturing relationships can be a great way to provide stability and give comfort. When you’re showing that you are taking steps to build trust, it means so much in the eyes of a child.

Children’s relationships shape the way they see the world. It will affect all areas of their development. It’s vital to guide our children through relationships with not only parents, but other family members, babysitters, and other children. Experiencing positive relationships helps children learn how to create positive relationships as well.

“The Three” Nurturing Environment

One effective way to help a child is to help them “find their three”—three adults or organizations who are there for them at any given time.

This helps the child feel loved and wanted and gives them someone that they know that they can depend on as well.

Being a part of “the three” in someone’s life is a small token and gesture of love. This simple act of love might be just what a child needs to find positivity and grow in a direction that will help to create a solid path towards their future.

Growing relationships with kids. There is so much we can do to prevent ACEs. Let’s talk about it in the comments.